The Whole Dirty Deal. Worms and All

I am currently reading, When You Are Engulfed In Flames by David Sedaris. I needed something butt-kicking humor after the past few days that I will attempt to touch on here. The first essay is about worms crawling out of a woman's wound and how this is the topic of conversation one Christmas Eve. Now most might not find the combination of worms and wounds funny, but me and my warped sense of humor finds this topic totally acceptable. This coming from a woman who gave her husband a pain pill instead of his antibiotic yesterday morning. Now, it just so happens, said husband noticed he was awful lightheaded as he drove to work. He then noticed he was going to puke his guts out because he doesn't handle pain pills all so well. And me, the said murderess, is having a fit at home on the phone with him because he tried to make his work deliveries.

Husband: I think I might have to call someone to come get me.

At this point has driven over forty miles from the earth he lives on.

Murderess: I can't believe you went ahead and drove.

Of course this is the guilt speaking.

Husband: I can't take this. I feel so bad.

Murderess: I told you to get some coffee and some food.

Husband: I got to go. I'm going to be sick.

But don't worry. Your favorite all time Writer Woman is not behind bars. No, she's at home reading her book. Said husband made it home, where he slept in the back of the work van for three hours in a rainstorm because he could not walk into the house. Around 8:00 pm he came into the house and passed out on the bed. All this from one pain pill he took twelve hours earlier. This morning said husband woke rested and bright-eyed.

Ah yes worms are a wonderful thing. I'll take worms and wounds any day over my sometimes crazy upside down life.

Signing Off

Murderess